If only they knew what was being said!

Hi, I’ve got my paws on my human’s computer again.  They have gone down to Alte to have coffee and brandy, I have no idea what that means as I don’t get invited along because I associate the car with going to unpleasant places, like the vet or the kennels.  Mind you I don’t mind in the least the new place they send Bonny and me to when they go off on their adventures.

This place is a real home from home with the added advantage of being allowed to sleep on the settee, so I don’t have to sneak onto one the settees when they’re not watching, I can just stroll up and park myself there in the sure knowledge that there wont be “Oh Toppy” said in a very disappointed manner and I have to slink off the settee and at least seem a little ashamed, but of course I’m not.

However my trip to Samantha’s, cant call it a kennel just a home from home, isn’t the subject of this blog so I’ll get back to the reason for my blogging this time.

We have a little pack that can consist of two humans, three dogs (my brother joins us and shares in the bag of bribery and corruption my female human carries with her) and two ginger tom cats.  We are a rather weird group I do admit but we get along quiet well. My humans need a walk twice a day and I like to get them out and about very early in the morning as it gets just too hot for them to be outside, they don’t have hardly any fur to keep their skins from getting burnt.

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Now in the morning there are sometimes some dogs who have a human shepherd and his flock of sheep, they wander around the mountains here and sometimes we meet them when I take my humans for their walk.  The shepherd thinks that he uses the dogs to keep his sheep in order, not correct, because if I might say so, us dogs know a thing or two about keeping our meals in sight. As soon as we start to approach, these dogs start barking, growling, snarling and generally being very unpleasant and threatening. The dog equivalent to a street gang.

Now us dogs in our weird pack give as good as we get but I cant for the life of me understand my humans, they seem to think that we should remain quiet and not antagonise the other dogs unless they start to chase the ginger toms who have by now run away and hidden, the scaredy cats. If only my humans knew what was being said!

One of the shepherd’s dogs just likes to insult my humans and is constantly shouting “Your female human has a fat bum” and that’s the nice version.  I’m not going to let anyone say anything that nasty about my humans, I’m loyal even though they don’t let me get on the settee, so I puff my self up as large as I can get, curl back my top lip and let rip.  My brother and Bonny join in this heated debate, as I don’t think my female humans bum is that big, well not especially big for humans that is. At this point my humans tell me to come back and be quiet.  If only they knew that I’m defending their honour, I wonder if they would call me back or join in if they understood?

I hear the car approaching so I’ll finish off and pretend that I’ve been asleep on the settee all the time they have been out, it will be easier than having to explain that I’ve used their computer.

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